Using writing, and meditation, and ice cream, and reading, and dreams,

and a whole lot of other tools to rediscover who I am,

after six years living with a man with OCPD.

FAQ's & Links

Frequently Asked Questions
How can you tell if someone is a Perfectionist Personality? How Can I Help or Make my Perfectionist Personality Partner Change? Why does she seem relaxed and tolerant around others, and so hard on me at home? What are the Keys to Living with a Perfectionist Personality? How Do I Rediscover Who Am?  For answers on these and other FAQ's, click this link for a downloadable .pdf.

For a preliminary understanding of OCPD:

More in depth:

On hoarding:


for those who are dealing with a Perfectionist Personality

  • Verbal Self-Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin, PhD (author of You Can't Say That To Me!) explains and gives examples of many great techniques, including the boring baroque response.
  • Out of the Fog on setting Boundaries.
  •  Wikihow's got a great article on how to deal with people with personality disorders.
  • Psych Centrals listing of treatment options. 
  • Advice for recognizing and dealing with verbal abuse (which can often escalate to physical abuse) by Patricia Evans.

for those with OCPD

Other advice

On selecting a divorce attorney. If you have decided to divorce your OCPD spouse, and your attorney is either unaware of personality disorders, or unwilling to be educated about them, your OCPD spouse will chew him up for lunch without needing a a napkin. In order to protect yourself and your children, if any, choose wisely.

Support Groups

  • Free Forums - for both those with OCPD and those who have a loved one with OCPD.  (Many members used to belong to a similar group on MSN, now defunct.)
  • Forumotion - for those with OCPD or Anankastic Personality only.
  • Out of the Fog - a support site for Significant Others of people with all types of Personality Disorders, including but not limited to OCPD.
  • Yahoo Group - for both those with OCPD and their loved ones.
  • FaceBook - look for the Perfectly Awful community page on FB, and fan if confidentiality/privacy is not a problem for you. There's also a closed group HERE.
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness aka NAMI, which offers support groups, family education programs, literature and advocacy for those with mental illnesses and disorders.

Other Blogs:

  • Tetanus Burger - two sisters cleaning up after their OCPD father (very funny- great pics!)
  • The Gift of OCPD - by an OCPD'r who likes to look at the benefits.
  • Educating Mel - Notes On How To Live In The World (With OCPD) and Be Loved. Inactive since 2012.
  • Bashing Perfect - a blog by a Perfectionist on battling OCPD. Currently inactive since 2011.

Techie-Type Reading:

For more articles related to OCPD, relationships, hoarding, recovery, research, and more, please watch and follow the Scoop which appears in the right sidebar of this page.

Got even more links, blogs or good articles? Please email to perfectlyawfulusa (at) gmail (dot) com.